Erotic stories can be a great way to communicate your desires in a subtle way. Buy your lover a sexy book that includes the kink that turns you on, and ask them to show or read you the bits they like (if any) out loud.

 

Alternatively, if you're confident that your lover will be open minded, be direct. Ask if there's anything new they'd like to try and tell them what appeals to you. By listening to your lover's desires, being non judgemental and considering making their dreams come true (assuming you don't find their kinks a turn off), you're more likely to get a positive response to your own penchants.

 

Keep play protected, sane and consensual. Practising safe sex means reading up on any safety guidelines and only exploring things that you both want to.

 

If anal play gets you off, use lots of lube, go slowly and make sure you are protected. Both men and women can enjoy it so don't feel bad about exploring different roles.

 

Kink can be a wonderful way to add spice to your relationship, building intimacy, acceptance and trust. Approach it in the right way and who knows where it might lead.