Turn your dreams into reality…

It’s natural for the sexual dynamic between you and your long-term partner to change over time and it may even sometimes feel as though that initial spark has dimmed. If this is happening in your relationship, don’t panic. Understand that all relationships ebb and flow, presenting an opportunity for new growth and exploration.


When it comes to your sex life, why not use a drop in passion level to herald an exciting new phase for intimacy with your partner as you seek new ways of turning one another on. One way of fanning the flames of passion is to share sexual fantasies in a safe and relaxed environment.


Fantasies help us to connect with our deepest, most vibrant passions. Day-to-day life doesn’t have to snuff out the things that matter, like satisfying sexual intimacy. Fantasies are a fast track way of re-kindling the connection which drew you and your partner together.


1. Knowing what you want

The first step in sharing your fantasies with your partner is to know yourself what you want. This can be tricky in all areas of life and your sex life is no exception. Add to this that you may feel embarrassed about some of your desires and there’s little wonder that you’re not sure how to broach the subject with your partner.


There is no such thing as a sexual fantasy which is ‘wrong’. The very nature of fantasies is they are unrealistic and when it comes to what type of sexual intercourse turns you on; you are free to imagine whatever you wish. Accept your erotic imaginings!


Start to notice what excites you and make space for it. Does a certain look or scenario or type of sex toy turn you on? Are there scenes in books or films that get you pleasantly hot under the collar?


There is lots of excellent literature available on sexual fantasies so read on and find you’re not alone in what sex games turn you on. This will give you the confidence to share your secret passions.


2. Opening up

If you have trouble opening up about your sexual fantasies, you’re not alone. Many couples struggle to be frank with one another about this, so often just avoid the subject. This will lead to repetitive love making and could even undermine your relationship as you drift apart over something so basic.


Why not assume that your partner wants to share sex stories and fantasies too? They may be secretly relieved that you want bring it up.


Make time to have a pressure-free talk with a glass of wine and relaxing music and cuddle up to share. Be clear about your fantasies, to deepen the understanding of what turns each of you on, and which ones you’d love to act out given the chance. 


3. Acting it out

First of all, decide beforehand that it’s not the end of the world if a fantasy doesn’t translate successfully into reality. If you both agree about this and decide to laugh about it all, you’ll have fun even if things don’t go as planned.


Also, be gentle with your partner while enacting a fantasy and make sure they feel comfortable and happy to continue at all times. You may find that a fantasy doesn’t work out in reality but another one takes you both in a direction you never anticipated... and that’s half the fun!