Human sexuality is quite complicated; what turns on one person can be a major turn off to someone else. Sexual fantasies and fetishes aren’t necessarily required to achieve arousal but may enhance your sexual experience.

There are many types of fetishes and fantasies that all of us have, especially in bed. Whether kinky or mind-blowing, they are more normal than you think. Some may focus on certain areas of the body such as breast or feet, while others may desire role playing and dressing up.

What starts a sex fetish?

Realistically, anything can be turned into a fetish or fantasy; it just depends on a person’s desires and preferences.

‘Most people who have a fetish can remember a distinctive time or event where they encountered something that unexpectedly but immediately turned them on’, says Justin Lehmiller, PhD, sex educator and research psychologist at Harvard University.

Here is a list of the most common sexual fantasies and fetishes to turn you on:


Thanks to 50 Shades of Grey, there’s been new attention drawn towards dominant/submissive play. One of the top sex fantasies for both women and men is to be controlled sexually in the bedroom. Why is that?

‘It can be tiresome to always feel like the pursuer. Feeling pursued can be a very sexy change, and it can also be a huge ego boost’, says Laura Berman, LCSW, PhD, sex expert. Try a rabbit vibrator and take the lead of pleasing each other.

Thanks to 50 Shades of Grey, there’s been new attention drawn towards dominant/submissive play.

Swinging and group sex

The idea of swinging or experimentation with group sex is usually driven by the male in the relationship, research shows. Indulging in group sex can increase one partner’s confidence, while strengthening your bond with each other. It all depends on the couple and their reasons for participating. If you enjoy the sensation of experiencing another lover, try an intimate massager to add another level of excitement to your lovemaking.

Foot fetish

Foot fetish is surprisingly more common than you might think. According to Sigmund Freud, people who develop this fetish see the human foot as a penis. With 90 percent of the fetishists being male, sexual attraction to feet rank higher over all types related to body parts. The sexual interest in feet (toes, soles, shoes, toenails) can involve rubbing, licking, sucking, dressing, massaging and caressing for sexual stimulation.


Researchers at the Carolina Institute found out that one out of three individuals enjoy exposing themselves or watching sex in public. While exposing yourself and having sex in public is illegal, the existence of nude beaches, fetish clubs and even certain festivals such as Mardi gras have encouraged a bit of exhibitionist in all of us.

Role play

A little imagination and a sense of humour can add another dimension to your sexual fantasy. Advancement in technology has now brought the possibility of sexual role-playing on the Internet, which many individuals and couples can indulge in. However, if you want to spice up your bedroom activities even more; let go of all your inhibitions and try using a cock ring for a tantalising orgasm.

Is having a fetish harmful?

As long as you and your partner are comfortable with your desires and have a mutual understanding, go on and enjoy yourselves!