There are many different types of sex, and these days, oral sex can often be the star of the show. Perhaps when you were younger you were told giving oral sex was a ‘base’ you reached, a step in the right direction towards the “main event”. Then something happens. You grow up. Going down on a person becomes more than just third base and more than just foreplay – oral sex is a good form of foreplay, but it can also be the main event itself.

As arguably one of the steamiest activities you can do with a partner, it’s important that you take steps to find out how to give good oral that’s hot for both you and your partner. Even if you’ve been together a while, it’s good to treat each time as the first time and find out what you’re both in the mood for at that moment.

Remember, everyone is different, so there’s no ‘right way’ to do it, other than the way you and your partner both enjoy. But if you don’t know where to start, you can follow our seven oral sex tips to giving good oral sex and you’ll both be loving it in no time!

Step 1: warm up

Most of us need warming up before performing any sexual act – both mentally and physically. Giving oral sex is no different, so take it slowly to start with and enjoy going down on them; there’s no need to rush!

As things heat up and clothes come off, find a comfortable position, so that you are free to focus on what you need to – their clitoris and vagina. It’s proven that most people can’t orgasm from penetration alone, so this is an opportunity to focus on giving them pleasure while bringing them closer to a climax.

Start by letting them feel the natural rhythm of your breath on their intimate skin. Just the feel of your breath should elevate their senses and get their mind racing, thinking about the wave of pleasure they’re about to experience. Once aroused, their whole body will experience a heightened level of sensitivity and even the smallest actions can make a difference.

As you feel their arousal warming up, gently move your mouth to around their pants line and lower your lips to their stomach – start with what feels natural and respond to your partner’s body language. Lick, or even gently nibble as you go along and get closer to their intimate parts. Even if their underwear is on, you can still tease them by gently blowing warm air through the fabric of their underwear. Whichever technique you use, avoid suddenly making a beeline for the clit so they have a chance to warm-up before you dive in.

Step 2: the clitoris

When your mouth first makes contact with their clit, try not to be too hard or too soft. Read their body language to help you learn how to pleasure orally in a way that really pushes their buttons. If you feel them pull back, it may mean that you’re being too rough, or they aren’t quite ready yet. Listen to their signals; find the pressure that is right for them.

There is a hood that covers the clitoris; some people like direct contact when getting oral sex, some like it over the hood, some don’t mind either, some change their mind each time: the point is, it’s up to you to work out what they want at that moment. Keep in mind that this may change as the excitement builds and you change your pace.

When they’ve given you the signal to continue, spread the vaginal lips and flick your tongue against the clit establishing a pace from here. Despite often being shown in porn, for some people, flicking feels too intense, so experiment with other sensations like rubbing or sucking. You may find that gently flicking your tongue over the clit and then moving away before touching the clit again can build some excitement. However, most of the nerves are in the clit so remember the most important thing when giving oral sex – definitely do not neglect the clit, it’s a magical place for them!

Step 3: make some noise

Knowing that you’re enjoying giving oral can be the greatest turn on for your partner – so it’s time to make some noise. A simple “Mmm” can go a long way so don’t be afraid to get vocal as you go to town down below. Not only does this let them know you’re happy to set up camp down there, but the vibrations from the noise can add more sensation to the oral sex. So, whether it’s slurping, spitting, growling, or whatever primal sound you feel coming out – let the moment take over and embrace the pleasure.

Equally, you’ll likely find that they’re being more vocal as things heat up. So, try to match your movement to their sounds. If they sound like they’re enjoying it, keep it up. If they’re not moaning as loudly, maybe back off a little or ask them what they’d like you to do. Let their body tell you how to give good oral sex to them.

Step 4: tell them they taste good

The next level up from making yummy noises is to actually verbalise to your partner that they taste damn good while you’re giving oral sex to them. Telling them they taste good is like telling them they look hot – it’s an instant boost to their confidence and will make them feel sexy. And if they’re feeling sexy knowing that you’re enjoying the taste of them, it will likely heighten their arousal and add more passion to your play time. You can let them know with a simple “You taste so good”, or if you’re both into dirty talk, let your imagination run wild with all the filthy things the taste of them makes you want to do.

Step 5: cover all bases

After you’ve mastered the steps above, it’s time to take giving oral sex to them even deeper. Your partner will probably be red hot by now and wanting your tongue, fingers, and/or penis to enter them, but this is the perfect opportunity to quickly check in and confirm. Move your tongue around the entrance to their vagina before diving in with a strong, pointy tongue – like a tongue erection, if you will.

Move your tongue in and out of the vagina and then back up to the clit – follow your partner’s signals to discover the pace and movements that they like. If you want to cover all bases and double the stimulation, try letting your tongue take care of the clit whilst your fingers are inside them.

For maximum pleasure, you could introduce a lubricant or massage gel at this stage to increase sensitivity. Not only will this ensure that they’re fully lubricated – wetter is always better, especially if using your fingers.

If you find your tongue getting tired, this is a moment you could use a sex toy such as a vibrator. This can intensify the pleasure and take some of the pressure off your tongue.

Step 6: all hands on deck

Don’t be afraid to let your hands wander! Use them to caress all areas of your partner’s body – including their chest, nipples, stomach, thighs, and bottom. Let them know that you can’t get enough of them and want to explore every little bit of them. This will heighten their sexual arousal and help them to naturally relax even more. Of course, everyone’s different – some people love having their nipples played with whereas others may not like them to be touched. Make sure you ease into it by lightly trailing your fingers over different areas of their body to see if they’re comfortable with where you’re touching them. When you’ve got the go ahead, you can try exploring different areas of their body with your lips, covering them with sensual kisses or gently nibbling on them.


Step 7: relax and enjoy

The final step is to enjoy their pleasure and satisfaction from getting oral sex – they don’t need to know we’ve helped a little.

If you feel overwhelmed or tired, find ways to take a break such as those outlined above – you can try moving your hands or lips to other areas of their body. Add another dimension of pleasure to give your tongue a rest by using a sex toy such as a vibrator.

We hope you enjoyed these tips on how to give good oral sex. Just remember, communication is key – let your partner tell you how to pleasure orally. If you’re able to sense their signals and respond accordingly throughout, then that’s great, but it also never hurts to ask! There’s no need to be shy, you’re already naked together so find out what they want, what feels good as you go along and generously give it to them if you’re comfortable with it.

By following these oral sex tips, you will be well on the way to creating a mind-blowing oral sex session with your partner that they won’t be forgetting about any time soon.


This article is for general information only and not intended as a substitute for medical advice.

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