You can also take matters into your own hands. Everyone has responsibility for their own orgasm (though a good lover cares about their partner's pleasure) and touching yourself or using a toy together can help you both get off.


If your partner doesn't seem to care about your pleasure, don't immediately write them off. They may be insecure about what you like (which is why masturbating together can be so useful). Talk about what you enjoy. However, if a lover still doesn't make an effort, do think whether you really want to be with them. Sex is about two people, not one, after all.